Swimming Upstream

This is the time of year for it…the time when salmon, who spend their early lives in rivers before heading out to sea, return to those same rivers to spawn. Fueled by their ocean feedings, they are fortified for the arduous journey back to their birthplace to begin the cycle all over again. Driven by instinct, clear on where they belong, the fish fight currents, leap obstacles, evade bear claws and anglers as they stretch toward the goal. The marathon touches anyone lucky enough to observe it. There is such grace and strength in the run. Each salmon knows its purpose. Instinct compels them on. If you interviewed a sentient example of the species, asked it why it perseveres, I’m pretty sure the answer would be “because I have to.” The impulse hidden in the genetic makeup refuses to be ignored.

I think writers, indeed all artists, are the salmon equivalent of homo sapiens. We are driven to produce our art. Fueled by a desire often difficult to express, we endure long solo sessions typing or hand writing, pushing past the censor that shouts, ‘you’re no good’ or ‘you can’t write that.’ The interior command to ‘do it’ doesn’t come from a tennis shoe ad.Rather, like the salmon, the instructions are buried in our DNA. Ask a writer why she pursues this lonely, at times agonizing, at times subversive task, and the answer matches the salmon’s response: Because I have to.

The fall migration period of salmon roughly corresponds to the autumn calendar. From September through November, the rivers teem with fish determined to reach the headwaters, to grab the prize each seeks – the continuation of the species. For writers, the prize frequently equals publication. Nothing like seeing your work in print. Better yet, receiving payment for all those hours spent crafting a poem, an essay, a story worthy of replication in a journal, magazine, or book. But with NaNoWriMo, the annual write-a-fifty-thousand-word-novel in a month challenge, in full swing, other goals arise. The writer tests herself against the word count. Accepts the dare to finish or revise. Hopes for the chance to read in front of an audience. And more important for me, as a writer, I hope for the validation of my  peers, to be considered a good/great writer. In the end, through my words, I desire to touch a reader, to evoke emotion, to make him/her think more deeply about what it is to be human.

So here I am, sitting at my computer, banging out a blog post, thinking about a manuscript, outlining a new non-fiction piece. Sometimes I lose sight of the end game. Sometimes I tire of the rocky uphill climbs, listen to the boo bird on my shoulder. Once in a while I crash against the boulders of rejection. On occasion, the bear catches me. Still, as always, I insist on returning to the river where my ideas spawn, grateful for the chance to create again.

Happy Thanksgiving, writers and readers! I am grateful for your presence in my life.